The Sicken Thing:Invader Zim
by The Essence of Originality
Summary: like an actual episode, so u cant hear their thoughts-trying2keep them in character so...if u look close enough u can see any relationshipXD-Dib is sick, Zim must find what that is...picture on Deviantart! account:7Black-Lightning7
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, but i do so love it and wish it to be brought back!

[]-authors notes

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Part 1-Prologue(Intro)

**focuses down to skool, in the cafeteria, Zim walks down the aisle humming loudly and passes Dib's table, but Dib is not there...**

"HMM?" Zim looks to Gaz, "Hello human stink thing."

Gaz glances up from her lunch, with her eyes narrowed as always. "Whatever." She said, then she looked back down.

Zim narrowed his eyes and said, "You should be HONORED that ME!" He started yelling while raising his arms and widening his eyes- "ALMIGHTY INVADER ZI-"

Gaz sneered and interrupted, "Leave me alone!"

Zim glared but continued, "Where is that FILTHY-(spaz)-Dib thing of yours?"

Gaz scoffed then grimaced and open an eye halfway to look at him weird "My brother?" She narrowed her eyes again and with an 'I don't care attitude' said "I don't know."

Zim thought for a minute, then said incredulously, "What is a brother?"

Gaz slammed her hands down on the table angrily while she stood up, pointed to the door and said, "I said go. Away. Don't make me turn you inside out."

Zim then grinned deviously, "You don't scare-"

Gaz started growling while she crawled on top of the table with her eyes wide and twitching. Her head slowly went around in a circle while she leaned toward Zim [like in ep19 Bloaty's Pizza Hog]. Then she sat up in crouch, and was ready to pounce. Zim's eyes widened. She had another sneer on her face.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim ran away screaming.

Gaz sat back down and ate, with happy music playing in the background.

**camera zooms to back of school, where the trash is**

Zim was breathing hard by the trash cans when he said "Ergh! Why is it so HArd to understand these pig smellies?" His video phone popped out of his pack. "Gir!"

With the living room seen in the background, Gir, without his disguise, looks up from the floor with a humongous smile on his face. "Yeeees?"

...


	2. Part 1

Disclaimer: i do not own these characters! egah!

[] = authors notes

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...

Zim cocked his eyebrow and said slightly curiously, "What are you doing? No, never mind that's not important right now. I have a mission for you gir."

Gir said "YAAAY! DESTRUCTION!"

Zim chuckled quietly "Ah ha ha ha, no, no not yet. This is a _secret_ mission gir- no one can know about it-got it?"

Gir is shown looking at something to his left, but then he turns at his name "huh?"

Zim narrowed his eyes unamused, but then said while shrugging, "Oh well, i need you to go see what the human Dib worm thing is doing, QUIETLY GIR, so dont just go knocking on his-gir?"

View shoots back to base, living room, but no one is there...

"Urgh! Why does everyone seek to INFURIATE me?"

**bell rings, shot pans to Gir humming and walking (squeaking in the dog suit) down the sidewalk to Dib's front door, where he then proceeds to ring the bell**

There were strange noises coming from Dib's house, but were actually from Dib "Ooooooooh, eeeeeeeh,OW!-crash-"

Gir cocked his head, "Hello house! What's your name?"

The house, which was really Dib, replied "Aaaaagaba..."

Girs dog suit eyes raised up into squints of happiness, "Hi Agaba! wheres Dib?"

Dib opened the door, and we notice his face is a sickly green.

Gir dove in the house and out of his suit, rolling on the floor and then standing up straight. He started to rock back and forth[like in Gir Goes Crazy and Stuff]and his eyes went red.

Dib sniffled, then rubbed his nose. In a nasally voice he said "I don't feel like a battle to the death today Gir."

Gir stared blankly for 2 seconds[a new record!] then said "Oookie dokie!" and dived on the couch to turn on the TV.

Dib narrowed his eyes then slowly walked over to him and sat down. They both watch the scary monkey show.

**camera pans back to school and Zim is sitting in his desk**

Zim looked at his watch and muttered to himself "What is taking GIR so long to call me back about the stink pig's whereabouts?"

"Zim?" said Ms. Bitters.

"Yes?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You're doomed." -.-

He jumped up with one leg on top of the desk and the other in his chair, "NEVER!...wait, you've told us that before."

"No, no no, this is a special kind of doom. You know what I'm talking about." and her eyes narrowed further.

Zim's eyebrow raised, "Ooooook..."

Mrs. Bitters glanced at the rest of the class, "Go home now, and get on with your miserable lives." She glared at Zim once more, then slid away.

All the kids shouted, "YAAAAAAYYYY!"

Zim ran outside, then remembering Gir yelled in despair, "GIRRRR!"

**flashes back to dibs house, still sitting on the couch**

"I know I was supposed to do soooomethiing..."

Dib sniffles and slowly turns his head towards Gir.

Gir looks up at Dib "Ooohhh yeeea. WHAT ARE YOU DOOING?"

Dib gives Gir a confused look, and speaking nasaly again, says "Can't you tell? I'm sick."

Gir slowly gets off the couch, eying Dib, then runs real fast in circles. "EEEEHEHEHEEEE!" Then-CRASH!- he goes through the closed front door.

"Aw. Now i gotta fix that." He sneezes.

**back to zim, walking home slowly in angry strides**

"dorr do rr rrdo do rr rr!" Zim turns around, "UH? ...I could have sworn I felt some-" He turns back around and sees Gaz "AHHHH!" he jumps behind nearest pole.

Gaz just stands there, staring.

Zim moves back from behind the pole. "Oh!-i thought you were something else!" He smiles evilly for a second, then looks her up and down skeptically. "What do you want?"

"A brother unfortunately is some_thing_ related to you." she said, shuttering slightly at thing. Then she turned around and walked away.

He stood there confused for a second "What-oh! I asked that earlier- why did she decide to tell me?" he runs and catches up, "Hey, why did you decide to tell me of this brother unit?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"UNHHHH? but you just- I just- hold on, Gaz girl-eh-friend!"

Gaz faced Zim and thunder roared as she said, "Don't you EVER call me that."

Zim's eyes widen and he takes a step back, but then he narrowed his eyes and said "I'll do as I please... now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to find what the Dib MONKEY is doing."

"Congratulations." Gaz said, then she turned around and sped up.

"Wait...did I just call her a...? AHH!" he shuddered, "Any-who, hopefully Gir has completed his mission..." he stretched then sighed and looked down.

**Zim sees a dog with meat**

"AHHH! DOG WITH MEAT! NOOOOOO! AHHHH!"

**shot to another street**

[sounds fades in and then out]

"aaaAAAHHHhhh!"

*another street*

"aaaAAA-gasp, gasp gasp-clears throat-AHHHhhh!"

*home in sight*

"AAAHHHH!" He gets in and closes door, gasping.

**inside house is normal, besides a giant inflatable pool which looked to be filled of something gooey.**

Zim, while leaning on the front door, says "Gir?"

Gir popped out of the pool covered in the substance and stared blankly.

With a bewildered look on his face, Zim pointed towards the pool. "Gir, where did that pool come from?"

Gir raised his arms and shook his hands wildly, spreading the goo everywhere. "I'M swimming in PEANUT buuuttteerrr!" Then he put his arms down, stared again, and slowly sank back into the goo.

"GIR-!"

TV interrupts- "We interrupt your meaningless lives with an important news announcement."

Gir pops back out of the goo and him and Zim turn towards the TV.

"**...POOP soda now has a new and exciting new flavor! its called... CRAPPLE POOP! :D and it only costs 50 cents more than regular POOP! Buy Now! *low, fast voice* disclaimer: CRAPPLE POOP :D costs 1$ more and most likely tastes worse than regular POOP. POOP soda comes half full while CRAPPLE POOP :D is even less than that. no refunds...**"

"Gir would you turn off the-"

Zim looks to Gir to see he is eating his hands, he shudders. "Ok I'll turn it off myself" -click- "NOW GIR, YOUR MISSION! did it go smooTHLY?"

Gir jumps out of the pool."YES SIR!" he salutes

Zim covers his eyes "Aww come on-cover yourself, Gir!"

"But, im nekkid." Gir says, smiling widely.

"Exactly." He said matter-of-factly while handing him a towel[out of nowhere! :D]

"Awwwww." He made a sad face but grabbed the towel and wiped off.

"Now, report! Report back to meeeee." Zim said, making grabbing motions with his hands. He straightened up then placed his hands on his hips [do Irkens have hips?] "Well?"

"Subject human Dib was sick my master" He said in duty mode, then gave a little bow.

"Mhmm mmhmm wait whAT? What is this...this _sicken _thing of which you speak?"

"Thats what he said!" Gir replied, back to normal[whatever normal is for him anyway] He then ran and proceeded to flush himself down the toilet.

Zim started pacing over to kitchen while he talked, "Hmmm. I wonder if i can use this, this _sicken_ thing to my advantage..." He turns back and looks at mess, then sighs. "compuTAR!"

"Eh?"

Zim waved his hand over the pool. "Clean that...-motion-...up."

"Aww i thought i was gonna get a giraffe." The computer said, sounding sincerely disappointed.

"Yes, yes...of course you will, of course you will...soon enough" he walks over to the toilet and stands on top. Dramatic music starts playing as it zooms in on Zim's face, "Sooon enouuuugh"

Slowly and dramatically the toilet flushes and Zim sinks down.

Evil laughing is heard in the distance!

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duhn. duhn. DUHHHHHHHN!

there. part 1 of my story :D :D :D do you like it? i think it kinda got sucky but eh you tell me :P


	3. Part 2

disclaimer: i do not own any of this! DX well i mean besides the story. but not the characters. EGAH! you know what i mean! xP

um, i hadnt planned on making three parts, but i kinda got road blocked-so part 3 will come soon!

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**in Dib's room, at the Membrane house!**

Gaz walks in holding a glass of water and walks up to Dib's sleeping form on the bed. She pours the glass of water on him.

"AuAuaUAuh!" he sputters, spazz-ing and waking up. Gaz just stands there watching him.

"What was that for?" he asks, sitting up and coughing.

"Dad told me to give you a glass of water. He never said how." She replied.

"Ugh! Could you not do that next time!"

She shrugged "Whatever." then turned and started walking away.

Dib sat thinking for a second, "Wait! Gaz! Have you been keeping watch on the alien for me at skool?"

She turned around, opened her eyes then looked up as if remembering something. "Oh yea…no." her eyes closed again and she turns to the door, then while walking out she calls back over her shoulder, "He hasn't been at skool!"

"Hmmmm," Dib said, "something's gotta be up, I wonder what…and I wonder why I talk to myself." He shrugs, "oh well" then he laid back down. A shadow moves from behind Dib, and we see a flash of red jumping out the window.

**back at Zim's base**

Zim is seen looking through a microscope, checking DNA. "Good job GIR-you actually found the right specimen this time." Zim looks back to a corner of the lab that is smashed, and he shudders.

"But I thought you said squirrel!" he said incredulously, and then frowned.

Zim rolled his eyes "Yes, yes, go back to your games robot-I have work to do!"

GIR grabs a sock out of his head and ties it around his eyes, "look! I'm blind! I can't hear you!" he grabs onto Zim's leg, grinning happily.

"AHHHH!" he shook his leg vigorously, then pointed to GIR and yelled, "COMPUTAR! PUT HIM UPSTAIRS AS I WORK ON THIS, THIS, sicken thing!"

Computer sighed. "Ok." Robot arms came from nowhere, grabbed GIR, and then shoved him up a chute.

"FINALLY! I can work on my new evil plan in PEACE! To make this sicken thing stronger and the Dib weaker! I shall rule all! MUAHAHAHA!" Zim laughed.

"Um, sir, those calculations aren't correct-"

"I know what I'm doing!

"But you'll just end up-

"SILENCE!" Zim pointed threateningly at the computer. "ZIM KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING!-ah, why did I just talk in third person?" He made a confused look. "Ah, well."

The computer sighed.

**dibs house/room**

"So, I have a proposition for you Gaz" Dib started, sitting in bed.

After she set down his food, she sat down across from him warily. "What?"

"I will pay you 20 dollars to go and spy on Zim!"

She looked enraged. "WHAT? YOUR STUPID LITTLE FRIEND? Ew." She stood up and started to walk way. "I have better things to-wait did you say 20?" she stopped mid-track.

Dib smirked.

Gaz stood there, thinking, then said "…no." and started to walk way.

Dib, in a hopeful voice, continued "It's enough to get the next Vampire Piggy Slayer!"

Gaz stopped mid-track again, then slowly turned around. "How do I get in?"

Dib smiled then started laughing as evilly as any congested, sick person could. "MUAHAHAHA-coughing fit-um….HA."

**At Zim's house, Gaz walks down the front path to Zim's door, then after peering around, she just opens the door**

"_That was easy."_ she looked around the living room. "_Looks like always…I guess."_ She muttered to herself.

Suddenly a voice came from nowhere. "INTRUDER!" GIR falls from the ceiling and lands on his head, looking at her upside down. Then his eyes change from crimson to cyan. "You're. So. CUTE!" he flips right side up then runs over and hugs her.

Gaz's eyes widened "If you don't get off me right now you're gonna-AHHH! IT BURNS!" she fell to the floor. GIR grinned too happily while jumping off right before she hit the floor. Gaz twitches then slowly gets up into a crawling position. "What…what **was** that?"

Camera view gives full front view of her face, still looking towards the floor. GIR's face comes in on the left side, and while he whispers creepily her face slowly rises. "Loooooove."

She scowls and quickly jumps on GIR, but he jumps up and away too quickly, right out the open door.

"Urrrrrrrrrgh." Her watch opened into a video phone.

"Did i-ACHOOOO!-miss anything?-sniffle-" Dib is seen in bed on the watch.

"Nothing important."

Dib raised an eyebrow, but then smiled as something dawned on him. "I finally have an accomplice! Together, we-"

Gaz interrupted, "I'm only doing this for the money, Dib-don't forget that."

"-unstoppable!" he finished, completely unaware of her interruption.

She growled.

"So, see anything?"

"Besides your massive head? Nope-going home now."

**POV of dibs**

she turns to leave, but there is a loud crash and yelling in the background, she turns back around and looks into the house.

**POV of Gaz's**

Zim is seen standing on top of the toilet with his disguise on, "GIIIIR! Oh where is that useless-huh? A human? In MY BASE! HOW COULD THIS BE? SEIZE HER!" he jumps down and points menacingly.

"Uh-oh." She started to jump around to get out but couldn't make it and is pinned against the wall by the house's robot arms. She struggles against the arms.

"So, human. You thought you could trespass onto ZIM'S BASE?"

"I already did."

"Huh? No you-erg! Well, you shall trespass no further! Computer! Break all of the communication electronic devices on her-we shall take no chances!" He looks down and sees the watch and dib.

**Dibs POV**

"Well, well, well if it isn't dib." He grabbed the watch and looked at it with an evil grin. "I have you now." He said in a low voice meant just for him. Then Zim grabbed the watch, ripped it off, threw it down on the ground, and smashed it with his foot.

**dibs house/room**

"NOOO!" Dib jumped up from the bed with sudden energy. "I MUST SAVE GAZ!" He grabbed all the technology in sight, including Gaz's Gameslave just because it was there, and shoved it into his backpack, running off. "I will get you Zim! If you hurt her in any way I swear-"

**later, lower in Zim's base**

"Why am I here?" Gaz is seen in a cage, holding to bars.

Zim is seen without his disguise on, "Because I am luring the dib here using you!"

"Why are you two so obsessed with each other?"

Zim continued, ignoring her, "Soon, with him out of the way I shall rule ALL!"

"You know, you could just ignore him and go about conquering the world."

"SILENCE! I hear something!"

…

"AAAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHA!" GIR attacked Zim's head!

"AHHHHHH! GET OFF OF ME SPACE MONKE- oh it's just you." He stopped running around in circles and pulled GIR off of his head. "Go stand guard of little Gaz while I look for the Dib!"

GIR's eyes turned red "Yes, my master!" then his eyes turned blue, he jumped back, landed on his head (upside down again) and while looking at her, he poked his tongue out.

Gaz sighed and shook her head. _"...Stupid..."_ she muttered.

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um...maybe a fight scene coming up? idk, but this will end in part three i pinky promise! *waves pinky in the air* idk how to do the next part yet so...but i do know how this episode will end! all is well!


	4. Part 3:Finale!

Disclaimer: i own none of the characters

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**Zim's base still**

"so…" Zim continued still staring at the screen, "why **did** you tell me what a brother was?"

She frowned, and crossed her arms. "not-that-i-want-you-to-take-over-the-world-or-anything…" she muttered low and fast, "it's none of your business." She said louder.

GIR flipped upright and sat like a dog, with his tongue still sticking out.

Zim turned away from the screen and walked over slowly to Gaz, eying her, pondering and tapping his chin with his hand.

"Hmmm. I wonder if-"

The computer interrupted, "INTRUDER! Well actually he's on his way down."

"WHAT! It must be that Dib-STINK!" Gaz raised an eyebrow, "I KNOW WHAT ILL DO! First I will put that hologram I made of little Gaz in a different cage, and then once Dib gets lured into that cage I'll shut the trap! THEN I will capture him with the robot arms and threaten him and-"

"See ya Zim!" Dib shouted, escaping through the elevators with Gaz at his side.

"HUH? NOOOO! GIR! FOLLOW ME!"

**back at the top of Zim's Base**

Dib opened the door so he and Gaz could escape. While they were quickly leaving, a silver blur passed them, but kept going. They paused for a second, then shrugged and continued.

"STOP! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!" Zim screamed.

"NEVER!" Dib yelled back, grabbing Gaz and running towards the street.

Suddenly GIR appeared at the gate, and held out one hand. "SURRENDER!" he yelled.

Zim rammed into them from behind and they all tumbled onto the street. Gaz got up immediately and stood next to GIR, ready to pummel someone, but Zim and Dib were too busy wrestling to notice. Gaz looked down and saw Dib's backpack, so she picked it up. She rummaged through and found her Gameslave, and smiled a little. Then she saw money-her eyes grew wide in awe. She grabbed it, looked back at the two wrestling, and then turned and ran away.

The camera panned up to the sky, time passed and the sun dropped a little lower.

The camera pans back down and Gaz is seen playing her Gameslave with the new Vampire Piggy Slayer. She glanced up, right as Zim and Dib are head-to-head yelling at one another.

"You will never succeed Zim!"

"Pitiful Human! You must not know who you are dealing with!"

GIR still sat next to Gaz, with his tongue poking out.

Gaz rolled her eyes, annoyed, then grabbed both Dib and Zim's heads and knocked them together.

She then grabbed Dib and his backpack and dragged him away.

"YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS HUMAN! ….no, no! GIR-what are you doing? NOOO!"

Gaz stopped and looked at Dib, then back to Zim, then back to Dib. She smiled a little evilly, then she cupped her elbow and brought her finger to her face in thought, but then she shook her head no and continued on.

Zim continued screaming in the distance.

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wow um, well i think it got crappy. considering the fact i sorta had to keep it short in the minds eye of a regular length episode...i think it was half-crapped xD so uh...but, i finished it! questions? questions? anyone? too bad. im not gonna answer them xD just kidding! you know i was kidding, right? anyways, so this was short. i don't remember exactly what i had in mind a few weeks ago but uh, well here ya go-the end. and yeah, i know Dib suddenly got better, maybe Gaz slipped him some drugs in his food, who knows lol. but, theres some ZAGR for you fans out there, and maybe if you look for it ZADR as well. oh well. Jhonen never meant it to be a romantic cartoon so... hope you all enjoyed the crappiness! :D im writing a new one...its a ZAGR...only because theyre the only two whose personalities i can really get down...oh fine ill admit i think that coupling is cute, ok? xD so...um. woah. off track...

hope you enjoyed my story! as if it will ever get published xD thank you for reading and reviewing! :3


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